social-skills
social-skills — my Raindrop.io articles
Pradyumna's site
I am a software engineer, and I used to enjoy arguing with people for technical correctness. Code reviews, design meetings, mailing-list threads, dinner tables. If someone was wrong, I wanted them to know it, and I wanted them to know exactly why. I collected counterarguments the way I collected patches. I believed that if I just laid out the logic clearly enough, the other person would have no choice but to come around. Truth would win.
18 years of school trained you to answer questions. In real life? That ruins conversations. Someone says, "You're always late." You answer, "No I'm not!"—and boom, fight starts. Instead, try this: "I understand." Repeat what they said in your own words. Then ask an open question. "You're too expensive." → "I get that money matters. What else are you considering?" Do this four times. By the fourth open question, you'll finally hear what's really bothering them. It's conversation aikido. Go toward the punch. Works every time.
Forget fear of public speaking. A lot of people now shy away completely from speaking to anyone in public. But if we learn to do this it’s enriching, for ourselves and society
a three-part treatment for a near-universal affliction
A differential diagnosis for the weird and the awkward
Friends Friends What Glorious Friendly Friends!
Parties are a public service; here's how to throw them.
Americans are now spending more time alone than ever. It’s changing our personalities, our politics, and even our relationship to reality.
Free online social skills guide. Contains information on understanding body language, making conversation, and setting good social skills goals.